Accio Psychic Paper!
by i m a g i n e dream b e
Summary: There's a strange creature on board the TARDIS, sonic screwdrivers and wands are easy to mix up, Voldemort might be an alien, and the Doctor wants to swap glasses with the Boy-Who-Lived. Oh, and Hogwarts is real. T for safety. Eventual 10/Rose
1. Chapter 1

Accio Psychic Paper!

**A/N: Just trying this on for size. Please let me know what you think!**

"Rose?"

Rose was not in a good mood.

"Rose?"

No, in fact, her mood was probably one of the worst that had ever been felt in over a century in both directions. If she so desired, she probably could bottle up her mood somewhere in the eighty first century, and sell each ounce for millions upon millions of credit a teaspoon.

You see, Rose was in such a very bad mood.

"Rose?"

She noted with some satisfaction that the Doctor, the designated driver, in fact, seemed to be panicking slightly at her lack of response, and that sounds of useless random junk being thrown away were increasing in volume and frequency. To be truthful, she probably would have responded, too, if she wasn't face to face with one of the more frightening members of the Doctor's giant "Bad-Aliens-Who-Cannot-Be-Released-Under-Any-Circumstances-Because-They-Will-Be-A-Bad-Influence-In-A-Very-Not-Good-Way" Collection. This particular specimen, which sported giant horns and what seemed to be poisonous claws on its limbs and tail, appeared to be waking up rather irritated, like she herself had done not a few moments ago. However, she realized that while her bad mood may cost millions upon millions of credit per teaspoon, this creature _was_ an alien, and probably had a far greater capacity to do harm unto others than she did. So Rose was being as quiet as a very, very angry girl her age could be, and hoping against hope that the creature would open its eye, find her vastly uninteresting, and go back to sleep.

The creature opened its eye at last, and Rose wondered to herself why, if such a creature was so very dangerous, it was onboard the TARDIS at the same time that she, a very mortal human being was enjoying her stay as well, and not in fact, in a cage, preferably one made of titanium or something far more solid.

"Hello," she said timidly, and it roared rather loudly, and rudely, if she might say so herself.

She closed her eyes, wrinkling her nose slightly at the foul breath of this creature, and asked silently why such a well equipped creature couldn't also have minty fresh breath while it was at it.

Ah, she discovered. Because that would make life far too simple.

"Oh, that is very, very not good." The Doctor said, slightly quieter, and she looked up and saw one of his hazel eyes peering at her concernedly. "Alright, Rose, you see that thing next to you? The button?"

"Yeah?" she asked, taking a deep breath as she did so.

"You might not want to touch that."

Rose took a deep, calming breath and thought of sunshine, and daisies. She thought of rabbits, and blue skies, and hot tea and the smell of pine— which was promptly thrown out by the breath of the creature she faced.

"Really." Rose raised an eyebrow. "Mind telling me which button I should be pressing, then, Doctor?"

"Right!" he almost shouted, but he seemed to think better of it. "One moment, then, Rose!"

"Well that ruins my plans," she muttered sarcastically. "I was planning on taking a little trip!"

"No need to panic," he murmured, searching deftly through piles of random junk. "Aha!"

Rose peered up again, glancing only for a second at the strange green contraption he held before aligning her gaze with the creature again, which seemed to be several feet closer and sniffing her rather hungrily. Why was she always in these situations? She was the bait, and he was the tackler? Well, not quite, but it was clear enough that the creature, the hideous, bad breathed alien was always stuck in a room with her, while the Doctor zoomed about in his own chatty, happy-go-lucky mood and untangled her from her problems. Although, she reflected wryly, if she was to be chatty and happy-go-lucky whilst saving their lives, there's probably be no more lives to save by the time she finished rambling. She offered a small smile at the creature.

It smiled back.

Rose raised her eyebrows again. It couldn't have. What creature smiles at someone when they're about to eat them? That was just…very common. But the creature's smile wasn't an evil sort of "Watch me tear you to pieces and make you scream and torture you and then eat you because you're a delectable human" (funnily enough, it was always humans that the aliens found rather delicious) It was a timid smile in return to her own, which was strange. The whole idea was…not altogether ridiculous, now that she considered it. Anger forgotten, she looked at it again, and winked curiously.

It winked back.

Okay, weird.

"Hello," she began again, becoming slightly unnerved by its smile, which seemed frozen in place. "My name is Rose."

It growled, but not in a menacing way. It seemed confused. "Roar."

Brows furrowed, she took a step closer and sounded out her name for the creature. "Rose. Can you say that? Rose."

"Rose."

"Wow," she said laughing a little breathlessly, but panic will do that to people. "There's something you don't see every day. Can you…actually understand me?"

It nodded at her.

"What's your name, then? Hmm?" Rose spun around to find the Doctor behind her. He smiled reassuringly at her and then again at the creature.

It merely looked confused.

"So, Doctor, what is it?" she asked, feeling slightly guilty for talking about it like it wasn't there. After all, the creature could hear and understand them perfectly well, it just couldn't communicate its own thoughts yet.

"Couldn't tell you if I wanted. He's never been on board before," he said, fascinated. He studied the creature thoroughly, grabbing his specs and pushing them on his nose curiously before allowing his mouth to make a round O. "Although, I'm willing to bet I know where he came from."

"And where's that, then?" she asked.

"Weelll," he said, pointing at the neck of the creature with the corners of his mouth and eyes turned up delightedly, "That's a one of a kind collar, isn't it?"

Rose stepped closer and touched the underside of the tag, bringing it up horizontally so she could see in the dim lighting poking through the hole in the top. "If found, please return to… no way. That isn't possible."

"Aw, come on, Rose," the Doctor pouted. "Haven't I taught you better than that yet? Anything's possible. Allons-y! I can't wait for this one to start. Molto bene! Hah!"

Shooting one last smile at the creature, she followed the certifiably insane Doctor through the small hole he had created among piles of junk, unsure of what to believe.

There was no way it was possible. He had to be pulling her leg.

"Return to Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys, Hogwarts."

**A/N: Please review. Should I continue this? Or no? Should I make this have romantic-ness between Rose and the Doctor? Or no? Any suggestions or wishes from anyone? Whichever, review!**

**Ugh, cliché ending. Yeep.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Oh, my god, guys. I am so sorry. There really is no excuse. You know, other than a total lack of internet access and my laptop breaking and not having a copy on my iPhone…

But really, I shouldn't even. I should have kept a copy and done this from another computer ages ago, and for that I am so so sorry. I give this to you now, unbeta'd, in the hopes that I won't have an angry mob attempt to kill me. D:

**I don't own anything.**

.

.

.

Verity Williams started suddenly, her toothpaste dropping out of her hand and clattering to the floor with an audible thunk, and spun around on the spot, one hand still restraining her strawberry blonde hair. Her eyes darted fearfully around seemingly empty room, grazing the mirrors lining the walls, the stalls, the tiles, and the door before landing on her own reflection again. Dimly registering movement, she started again, drawing out her wand as quickly as possible before allowing her hand to drop at the sight of her own familiar face.

When had life become like this?

Hogwarts had always been a safe place— it sheltered all students from any dangers waiting outside, and goodness, there were many. The walls were not, however, capable of protecting students from each other.

With the war coming on and the supposed rise of one of the most evil sorcerers of all time, students were pressed to choose sides. And unlike the usual good versus evil battles, this war was threefold. There were the good, the evil, and the bystanders. Those who had no intent to fight the war, those who refused to believe that Harry Potter was right, that Dumbledore _had been_ right, even when Fudge himself had accepted it.

What was even more irritating was the fact that these bystanders refused to just _stand by._ As the days grew darker and the war ever nearer, those who still desperately clung to their beliefs were so afraid that they were liable to attack at any given moment. Propaganda had gone up, lost in the crowd of wanted posters and rebellion flyers, stating that the only evil being done was by those who insisted on believing in the return of… well.

And it was their cause, apparently, to remove the unnecessary strain on society caused by such beliefs.

By any means necessary.

And this poison was quickly spreading inside the castle's walls. The two houses most targeted, of course, were Gryffindor and Slytherin. Their passionate outbreaks in the middle of lunchtime did not only spark retaliation from each other, but also the non-believers— the Empowerment and Betterment of Society by Ending War Discussion. EBSEWD, for short. All members of the EBSEWD party were known thereby as EBS amongst themselves and those who humored them. To everybody else, they were called the Batshit Insane Party— and each member was dubbed a BIP.

Hogwarts was no longer safe.

Verity sighed and began to repack her nighttime case. Glancing over at the hair straightener balancing precariously on the sink, she gathered it was almost done heating up. It was a gift from her mother (a muggle) before she had gotten her letter to Hogwarts— the two had many at home spa days where they would gossip about their days and such— and when she was feeling particularly upset or lonely, she would use it to straighten her hair rather than do it by magic. There was something so much more satisfying about doing something manually, she mused, turning to zip up the case and place it delicately next to the styling tool.

Eyes.

Verity shrieked and grabbed for her wand, finding the straightener instead. Without a second thought, she aimed it right at the laughing intruder's head— it fell short and whacked him in the arm instead.

"Ow!" the figure cried, rubbing his arm gingerly. "Godric damn!"

"Jesus shitting Christ, Thurman, I thought you were a BIP!" Verity whispered furiously. Martin Thurman, who was now wincing at his forearm, looked up and eyed her seriously, his green orbs glancing through his dark hair to meet her own hazel ones.

"I hope that isn't the only defense you'd put up against them," he raised an eyebrow in disbelief, mouth twitching as she rolled her eyes and looked around for a better weapon. "Pathetic!"

Verity couldn't contain a smile as Martin broke out into laughter. "Well, no students are supposed to be out of bed right now! Something I might remind you of."

"Oh, _can_ it," he rolled his eyes good naturedly. "I bet you got the password off of… Dianne."

"How did you guess," Verity mocked, reaching a hand out expectantly. Martin smirked, grabbing it and lifting it to his mouth. Again, Verity rolled her eyes and whacked him in the face before snatching it away. Martin made a face, picking up the hot tool gingerly and returning it.

"Why do you have this crazy death trap anyways?" he asked, eyes curious as she unplugged it and rolled up the wire tenderly.

"It was a gift from my mother," she answered, refusing to look at him. His eyes softened slightly and he handed her her bag.

"What does it do?"

"Okay," Verity paused, frowning in concentration. "Um, you see these two… parts?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you stick a section of hair between them, and then close them and run them down the section slowly. And the heat keeps the hair staying that way, so that it stays straight for a while."

"Sounds dangerous," he murmured, unable to keep his avid interest hidden. Verity granted him a small smile as she started for the door, and he trailed behind her helplessly.

"Isn't everything dangerous 'round here?" she kept her tone light, but her shining eyes belied her calm exterior.

"Hey, now." Martin stopped her outside their common room, placing his hands on her shoulders. "It's alright, okay? No need to worry about those BIPs or SIPs or KIPs, unless it's a sip of water or a nap you're talking about. No need to worry about this war. You're strong, and you can protect yourself. I know it."

"But what if I can't?" she asked desperately. "This is too difficult, Martin, this war is too big, too frightening, and where would I hide? It's going to be all over the world, they said. And what if we _lose_?"

"Then _I'll_ protect you," Martin whispered, brushing her hair out of her eyes so he could search them more thoroughly. "Alright?"

Verity nodded slightly, and with a touch of her lips to his cheek, she was through the portrait and out of his sight.

Out of sight, perhaps, but never out of mind.

.

.

.

**A/N: **Okay, so…. Yeah. Review? If you want. You soooo don't owe me anything

:(


End file.
